Oh my sweet baby girl, I love you more than I could have ever imagined. That’s the funny and terrifying thing about being a mom, huh? You are four months and a week old. You smile and giggle and squeal in delight. You are busy, busy and cannot wait to be on the move.
Last week you were super clingy, cranky and did not want to nap or be put down. This week you seem to have jumped over that hurdle you were tackling. So far, you’re going down easy for naps, content playing by yourself and far less whiney than a few days ago. It’s crazy how your moods change week to week, but I know it’s all part of your development at this stage. When we have a bad day, I know to just wait it out to see what tomorrow brings.
People in the grocery store keep coming up to us and telling me how pretty you are. Of course, I already know this :o). They also say you have my eyes, which makes me beam inside.
When we are with a crowd of people and you are being passed around by eager hands wanting to get in some baby love, you look for me. We make eye contact and you seem to be asking, “Is this okay, mom?” I give you a reassuring smile.
I think about what this means for me, being your mom. I think about how for the next 18 years (or rest of my life) I will never stop worrying about you, and probably never stop questioning the decisions we make as your parents. Am I doing the best thing for you? Am I being patient enough with you? Strong enough for you? Supporting you and encouraging you enough so that you can be your best self? How can we ever really know? I guess all we can do is our best.
I’ve told my mom recently that I could not even begin to appreciate all that she has done for me, until now. So, thanks mom and dad. I finally get it! And I know I still have a long road ahead.